Summary
Each year since 2010 I meditate during the days after Christmas on what theme will characterize the year ahead. I stole this idea from my good friend Madison, and it has since been a way he and I connect each year in reminiscence. Now after almost a month of rumination, I completed my summary of learnings from 2016.
Year of Heart
“Get your ego out of the way so that your heart can be your operating system.” — Ivy Ross
The heart is the home of emotion, passion, personality, and weirdness. Compared to the reasonable head, it is fickle and impulsive. Compared to the intuitive gut, it is more noble and courageous. The heart is that space in our being where the inner child plays pranks, where the capacity for caring lives, where we can bond with other humans. It isn’t wordy or intellectual, but still smart, and simple. When we say someone “speaks from the heart,” we mean that they are speaking plainly, earnestly, and with love.
If there is one thing I learned this year it could be summarized in all the experiences, work, reading, and relationships from January to December. As it relates to heart, I believe it is connected to what people say when they give the advice to “follow your heart”––what ancient Greeks called the daimon. Let your most noble power refined over millennia, the selfless Will, your connection to God, guide you. I read Antifragile by Nicholas Nassim Taleb, arguably my favorite book of the last few years, and in tandem with The Fifth Discipline by Peter Senge confirmed the simple maxims and heuristics from the ancients like Marcus Aurelius (Meditations) or fervent disciples of life like Bruce Lee (The Tao of Jeet Kune Do). Nature is the best teacher, not the academic.
While in Africa, our guide Gordie Church, sat beside me after a few days on safari. I had been a little uppity and combative towards my father until this point, as sons who challenge their fathers will do. Eating lunch, he said something memorable to me that I will remember. I asked about the cultural differences between Kenyans and Americans, as he noticed them. He shared with me that as an African, and he is African, we all give respect to the nature of things as they are. And this, he spoke to me as though it he could see the tension I wrestled with that very moment. “In Africa, you may be a bright young man with a lot of ambition, but still respect the elders of your family and community. That is the way of things.” Hearing that, I was at peace with my tensions.
There is something special about the Kenyan perspective. It seems in tune with the way of nature. It is honest and all know their place. There is no aggressive ambition for disruption, but rather a deep caring stewardship with a readiness to act in accordance to our nature. I continue to work towards better understanding and accepting my nature, both as a limited animal and aspiring spiritual being, to seek harmony in being what I am here to be. I am learning again there is more to learn about how to be from religion and ancient meditations than short articles titled “10 things to make you happier in 2017,” especially as it becomes evident that no one today understands what is happening, but still jostle to be in the vanguard as “thought leaders” in business or culture by writing prescriptions and prognostications.
Note to self: Work and live diligently according to your own nature, for the Audience of One—the only judge who will review your actions at the end of your life.
About Health.
Body, Relationships, and Travel
I learned about the body from many teachers. From Brazilian Jiu Jitsu to rock climbing/bouldering, cold water therapy by Wim Hof, Ido Portal exercises from our family trainer TJ Pierce, and going vegetarian–and then back–with my girlfriend Sara. My heart filled with an abundance of choice and satisfaction in its variety of activities, and yet also longed for a committed investment to one path. Like a student of all subjects at once, many teachers led to a shallow understanding. I discovered two things: I use the style of a flaneur (one who wanders) to stay physically well-rounded and mentally stimulated, but I may be missing out on benefits of being an expert in one practice that I imagine results from discipline.
In relationships, I realized how thoughtful and helpful my friends were, specifically Amalia, Linnea, and Lina, who opened doors to new ways of thinking and new friends I would otherwise never meet––such as Ashkan and Per, who I have learned more from in a few months than I ever imagined possible. I also played Dungeons & Dragons with my friends Daniel, Aggelos, Jacob, Olof, and Emil every week––which was hilarious fun and a wonderful indulgence for my inner child. Through this, I learned that the people in my life add more quality to my life than entertainment or information. All the books in the world cannot give what a chat with a good friend can.
I also traveled more than I expected, this year. I hiked and ate alpkäse with my family in Switzerland in the height of summer; almost fell off my horse when a warthog surprised me on safari in Kenya; stopped in New York for a raucous two-night party binge to say hello to Clifton, Sarah, Reid, and Mike; nearly missed a flight to Colorado; celebrated and stood as best man for my oldest and best friend Kurt’s wedding in the mountains; road-tripped to California to meet with Grandma, Sensei Roy, and old buddies Eric, Matt, and Marcus; and in Sweden, I visited my Mormor in Dalarna, Sara’s family in both Uddevalla and Gävle, and checked out Gothenburg with my new friends at Everyday School. In travel, I again learned how variety is indeed the spice of life. Days are made special with new environments and unique smells and unusual sounds and meaningful people , those are the days I will remember into old age and tell stories about.
On Wealth.
Work, Finances, and Time
Regarding work, I was as varied in my activities as I was in my health. I felt eager to do everything I found interesting. I painted, rebooted my website, taught drawing classes, and I illustrated. I worked as a digital strategist, a project manager, event planner, workshop facilitator, and a freelance voice actor. On the long horizon, I concluded my Hyper Island education with an internship at the agency B-Reel, and this autumn found work helping build Everyday School and then returned to Hyper Island as a program manager. The lesson from this variety is that I recognize my capacity to learn and adapt is quite high, and is also evident of my unwillingness to put all my eggs in the one basket of a single career. It is also a way to try mitigating losses and boredom but easily becomes novacane, keeping myself busy and holding myself to social obligations instead of following my will. It also shows that today’s standards for work in my immediate environment (advertising, marketing, education) have low barriers that can be easily bypassed by someone reasonably clever. (To explore: where are the opportunities here?)
Concerning finances, I varied just as wildly. In February I received $20,000 in inheritance for savings. By September, it was gone. By the end of October I was indebted $2000 to my parents and $500 to my girlfriend with only 2 swedish crowns in my accounts. The pain of feeling financially foolish and professionally incompetent was sobering and instructive. I am now back up, with $6,500 and growing, with new lessons in personal finance and personal maturity. I have still not touched my bonds, which currently offset my school debts. The lesson here is that living the lifestyle and workstyle of a flaneur has high variability around income, and is dependent on a stable anchor of resources. If I choose to continue living and working this way, it needs an equally stable counterbalance. When the counterbalance is depleted or shaken, then my freedom to wander between whatever work appeals to me, evaporates and I become dependent on another provider. Here, Taleb’s barbell strategy becomes clearer to me: take on both extremely low-risk and extremely high-risk activities with an avoidance of the middle to avoid estimation errors and stay safe, with maximum chances of amazing upsides.
On Wisdom.
Learning, Philosophy, and The Unknown
In the categories above, all of which are very active, I spent many reflective days to draw out the lessons learned from those experiences. Towards the end of the year, I spent more time meditating, taking care of my spiritual needs, painting, allowing myself to be social and attempting to regulate my consumption of social media, working my thoughts out on paper before approaching the computer. As a result, the quality of my thinking and actions doubled. By tapping into the subconscious mind, the feeling of finding flow has blown me away. There is so much more we can do with less.
I know and understand less than I thought I did, and allowance of the intuition to take its course seems the wisest way forward. The way of nature in its wandering effortlessness is more robust than human inventions. No technology will save us from our vices or suffering, none ever has. Only personal mastery, the prayer of harnessing our human condition, we might discover bodhi, equanimity, ataraxia, dao, and hopefully find nirvāṇa, enlightenment, apatheia, heaven, bliss.
Other Insights.
There is no way to build a perfect team.
During the half year I spent working with the agency B-Reel, I learned what I wanted about advertising and more than I expected about team dynamics. Despite achieving my personal goals, on an emotional level I felt disenchanted about my time there. I allowed my education at Hyper Island to create an idealism of the professional world and “how teams work” and I was frustrated that our company wasn’t like my school. But the real world is nothing like school. The office was dealing with the same team challenges and human challenges as every group. That challenge is this:
Developing trust and effectiveness as a team is messy and challenging. All of us have independent needs for control, inclusion, and appreciation, which we are constantly trying to tend––to the benefit, or detriment, of the group.
Google also released their research (Project Aristotle) on the topic this year, and concluded there is no formula to the “perfect” team. It’s a lot more human, natural, and intuitive than any research can try explaining. It is more art than science, more of an improvisation than checklist.
To achieve more, do less.
“If you try to change it, you will ruin it. Try to hold it, and you will lose it.” ― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
Systems are subtle and self-balancing. Typically when we try to improve something, we often cause unintended damage. Taleb calls this iatrogenics, or “harm from intervention”. Often doing one thing in the short term will produce the opposite of the intended effect long-term. This is a sub-learning of the above.
Systems thinking: nature’s models
The most notable mechanics I learned this year were the systems archetypes from The Fifth Discipline, which help me recognize my own cognitive dissonance. These archetype follow natural patterns and are more heuristic than formulaic. To read systems diagrams,replace the arrow ( → ) with the word “influence.” The influence can be either positive (desirable) or negative (undesirable).
The models are appended in The 9 Systems Archetypes, below.
What you focus on grows.
Similar to “reinforcing loops” found in systems thinking, our efforts go where our attention goes. This is why double-negative thinking can waste everyone’s time. “I don’t want to hurt you” inevitably does hurt. Focusing on avoiding small pains and discomforts is wasteful of a powerful brain capable of focusing on more important things––such as mitigating large discomforts through proactive work or devotion to virtue, or by pursuing achievement.
“Live for the eulogy virtues, not the CV virtues.” I had this scrawled in the margins of Antifragile.
Everything is made up.
“Our theories determine what we measure.” — Albert Einstein
How we think creates the reality we see. That is, the mental models we rely on to make sense of the world are what we use to navigate the world. The limits of those models set the boundaries of our personal experiences. All of our modern world is created by us, and really… nobody knows what they’re doing.
You’re more likely to get what you ask for.
“How can you achieve your 10 year plan in the next 6 months?” — Peter Thiel
In October, I got a job offer at Hyper Island––a goal I set over two years ago my first week as a student. I achieved the goal much sooner than expected (I expected 5 years). I got the opportunity after I had found the thing I wanted and dared to say that I wanted it. May seem obvious, but simply raising my voice literally saying “hey I want to work here” made my desire visible to others.
Better to be poor in the pocket than poor in the mind.
“Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: ‘Is this the condition that I feared?’” – Seneca the Younger
Being broke sucks, but it’s really not as bad as you think. But it’s might be better to try out an ascetic lifestyle than find yourself there unintentionally.
Gold waits inside every moment.
“See everything as a source for education--even the most banal encounters. Imagine that the world is still full of mystery.” — Robert Greene
There is abundant magic and energy in each moment if you know where to look. Each instant, you have an opportunity to choose either the positive spin or the negative.
Go first by giving sincerely, no strings attached.
A sub-learning of “the golden moment” lesson. When opening, be generous and vulnerable. Welcome the needs of others, surprise them with something unexpected. Set the tone that this will be a unique experience.
Finish thoughtfully, make a memory.
Also a sub-learning of “the golden moment” lesson. When closing, end with a bang, and share something they can take with them. Give a memorable send-off!
The 9 Systems Archetypes
Limits to growth
A reinforcing process (like the snowball effect, illustrated) is counteracted by a balancing process. An example of a limits to growth system could be learning a new skill like rock climbing. Learning at first comes easily until hitting a plateau where limitations, such as finger strength or shoulder flexibility, impede progress and can even reverse development in the opposite direction (wearing out the fingers, injury from improper technique).
Shifting the burden
A shifting the burden archetype is most evident in health, when a medical problem is placated by patching up the symptoms with short-term solutions, influencing unintended side effects that make implementing the fundamental solution even harder. Most commonly this system can be seen wherever dependency is found and discipline absent––such as in workaholism, drug addiction, or chronic money borrowing.
Shifting the burden to the intervenor
This is the same as shifting the burden, but involved a third party trying to fix the problem symptom. An example of this is a consultant or parent rescuing a failing team or child by serving up the answers that get them out of trouble, undermining their internal capacity to learn and solve problems on their own.
Eroding goals
Goal erosion occurs when the discomfort in the gap between the long-term goal and the current condition is too strong to endure, and instead of taking actions to maintain the goal (which have delayed influence), standards are lowered. An example of this is when aspiring to be a painter, finding difficulty in the plateau of a “limits to growth” challenge like understanding color theory or anatomy, and settling for the mediocrity of mimicking other successful painters.
Escalation
Escalation happens when two competing forces feed off one another’s output. An example of this is two hotheads getting into an argument of insults, each insult inflaming the other further. It escalates as long as the next insult is stronger than the last. Other examples: the war on terror, gang violence, departments inflating their budgets, and an “every man for himself” style selection of teams for kickball in the schoolyard.
Success to the successful
This is an archetype giving limited rewards to one side that enhances their chances of future growth, depleting the resources available to the other side and diminishes their chances of growth. Like teachers favoring a “smart kid” by giving them attention and placing them in advanced programs while a “shy kid” gets less and less attention, and ultimately lags in school. Tragedy of the commons
This archetype is an extension of escalation, combined with a limited common resource. The amount of resources are limited and impossible to separate. Like companies drilling for oil, both are rewarded from its use. However, as the easily available oil is depleted, they must work harder and reach deeper to achieve the same output. Eventually, the entire reserve is spent. Any scenario where multiple groups compete for the same shared resource, they will overwork the system to get the same level as before until the resource is depleted.
Fixes that fail
Similar to the shifting the burden, this archetype is an inverse of the limits to growth archetype. Implementing a short-term solution causes long-term unintended consequences that exacerbate the problem, like using credit cards to pay off student loan debt or pausing manufacturing temporarily reduce costs.
Growth and underinvestment
A combination of the limits to growth and eroding goals archetypes. In this archetype, the limiting factor has its own balancing loop. In this diagram, as performance improves, the perceived need to invest may drop, and if performance standards drop so investment drops, over time dropping capacity, and influencing performance negatively.Performance influences the demand for the widget, decreasing sales. An example of this could be an aspiring chef who is unwilling to see the investments in knowledge and sweat required to become world class, and whose food over time becomes less and less appealing to foodies.